The moment we have been waiting for since April has arrived. Sophia goes in tomorrow at 11:10 for her surgery. I realized today that I have not updated the blog since February and for that I apologize. I know that many of you check weekly, daily, maybe even hourly to see what is going on in our awesome family. (Bahahahaha!!!) So since I have last posted...
We found out in April that Sophia's Grade 2 bilateral kidney reflux has progressed to Grade 3 on both sides and that her right kidney shows signs of damage. Given her age at diagnosis and the continued UTIs, Bilateral Ureteral Reimplantation surgery was recommended. Essentially, this means the incredibly skilled Pediatric Urologist who makes almost $500,000 a year (and more power to him since he is taking care of my child!!!) will carefully remove her ureters from her bladder and re-implant them lower so there is a 98% chance that her reflux will be corrected. This gifted doctor (I am not being sarcastic- I have only heard awesome things about him!) only does this surgery on Tuesdays so we were scheduled out to July 3. I asked about the next week so as not to ruin the 4th of July but the doctor was on vacation that week so that put us back to the 17th which could run her recovery into school time again so we went with the 3rd. So here we are. The good news is my friend and co-volleyball player, Rachel, is a Child Life Specialist in this department so she will be around for Sophia. The other good news is that I was able to get some information from a woman at church who has a daughter who had the exact same surgery at the exact same age. It is amazing who God puts in our lives at exactly the time that we need them!
The other exciting, crazy, awesome news is that we have moved back into the stage of having an infant. We got our first foster care placement on June 15 (my favorite sister's birthday) and I am in love. I can't say a whole lot because of confidentiality but I will say that we will love this little boy and give him the best care that we can for whatever time he is with us! This has caused a little bit more stress for me with Sophia's surgery because I am going back to making sure that the diapers/wipes/formula, etc are taken care of. Thank goodness I have awesome friends, Kelly and Micky, who will care for my baby as if he is their own.
I am heading off to bed now in order to be ready for the long day ahead. I will update during and after the surgery. Please pray and keep my sweet baby seven year old in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Remaining a family of six
The call that we have been waiting for came today at 11:15. We were informed that we were not selected to adopt this little boy. I had to go to work at 12:00 which was the exact opposite of what I wanted to do- crawl into bed and be sad. (I would say cry but those who know me, know that I cry about twice a year.) So I went to work, made it through, and came home to inform the kids. Tim broke it to them in a "family meeting". Emily was very matter-of-fact. Yes, she is bummed, but she always knew it was a possibility that we would not get him. Matthew was more concerned about how I was feeling and later confided that he is more nervous about the fostering than the adopting because adopting is forever and we may have to give foster children back. Abigail sobbed in my lap. She had her heart set on getting him. I knew she would be the broken-hearted one. This has been a rough school year for Miss Abby. Sophia was her typical happy-go-lucky self. "That's soooo sad! (pause) So what's for dinner?"
How do I feel about it? I had a really good feeling for a week but in the last couple of days, I have had a feeling it wouldn't be us. I don't know if I was just preparing for the worst but this morning taking the kids to school, I was even thinking, "I kind of hope they don't call b/c as long as they don't call, there is some hope." Don't get me wrong, I am sad. But I have a peace about it. We did all we could do and did it the best we could. There were so many times when it was clear that God was involved. Time after time and connection after connection that He showed us his presence. When we had Samantha, I thought that if I prayed enough and long enough and hard enough, that God would allow her to live because to do otherwise would be evidence that prayer didn't work and that He didn't love us. I learned a hard but important lesson when Samantha died. I was putting my faith in my faith and not putting my faith in God. God is perfect; I am not. God's plan is perfect; mine is not. God knows what is best for me and my family; I don't. Most importantly, God loves me. He loves me with a love that extends beyond anything that happens in this life- good or bad. My job on this earth is to glorify Him however He sees fit. I have prayed that God's Will will be done and that He will be glorified however this plays out. I am, in a way, grieving this little boy who I had already planned our future with and who I was prepared to love (and already did on a certain level) for the rest of his life. Now, I pray that he is going to a home that will love him and cherish him and show him the love that God has for him.
For us... I don't know what is in store for us, but I am sure it will be awesome.
How do I feel about it? I had a really good feeling for a week but in the last couple of days, I have had a feeling it wouldn't be us. I don't know if I was just preparing for the worst but this morning taking the kids to school, I was even thinking, "I kind of hope they don't call b/c as long as they don't call, there is some hope." Don't get me wrong, I am sad. But I have a peace about it. We did all we could do and did it the best we could. There were so many times when it was clear that God was involved. Time after time and connection after connection that He showed us his presence. When we had Samantha, I thought that if I prayed enough and long enough and hard enough, that God would allow her to live because to do otherwise would be evidence that prayer didn't work and that He didn't love us. I learned a hard but important lesson when Samantha died. I was putting my faith in my faith and not putting my faith in God. God is perfect; I am not. God's plan is perfect; mine is not. God knows what is best for me and my family; I don't. Most importantly, God loves me. He loves me with a love that extends beyond anything that happens in this life- good or bad. My job on this earth is to glorify Him however He sees fit. I have prayed that God's Will will be done and that He will be glorified however this plays out. I am, in a way, grieving this little boy who I had already planned our future with and who I was prepared to love (and already did on a certain level) for the rest of his life. Now, I pray that he is going to a home that will love him and cherish him and show him the love that God has for him.
For us... I don't know what is in store for us, but I am sure it will be awesome.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Family of 7?
So much stuff has happened since the last time I blogged, I don't even know where to begin. Since I asked for prayers for Amney, I will start by saying that Amney passed away December 6. She had a strong faith and I have no doubt that she is in Heaven and would never choose to come back to this earth but she sure leaves us missing her. Abigail was a mess for several days and after a lot of internal debate and prayers, I took her to the visitation and funeral. I really think that it helped her but she still talks about Amney often. Of course, as an eight year old, she has a selfish side to her that also worries that she will not get to see Lauren anymore so I have made it clear that she will still get to see her friend often. Prayers for Lynn and Lauren are still needed as they adjust to not having a wife and mom.
As for our family, so much is happening. Our home study worker submitted our approved home study and information to DHS on December 30! From that point, DHS has 60 days to approve or deny us as foster/adoptive parents. We really had no concerns about being denied since our lives have been pretty uneventful as far as things that would cause concern, but the waiting was going to be hard. A few weeks before all this, the little boy that we are interested in adopting was taken off the website because enough people showed interest that they were going to start the interview process. I fuh-reaked out but through some frantic e-mails, found out that we would still have time to submit our information. I got an e-mail on January 11- TWELVE days after our home study was submitted that we get to set up a meeting with this little guy, we got 24 pages of information about him, AND we get to interview with DHS to possibly adopt him! I got to talk to his current foster mom for about an hour and set up a meeting for TOMORROW!!!!! Then we set up our interview with DHS for February 1 (Sophia's birthday!) at 1:00. Everything that we learned about him only makes us want to adopt him even more. He sounds like such a awesome little guy who has been through a lot but has come through everything with flying colors. AND THEN (yes, there is more!), later in this same day, I got an e-mail from an unrecognized sender but it was a DHS address so I opened it and we received our ADOPTION APPROVAL!!! What was supposed to take 60 days only took 12! Just another time that God has shown Himself through this whole process.
Sooooooo... tomorrow we get to meet our possible future son/brother. The kids are going with us and are so excited! This is how our conversations about it have been going... we will be excitedly talking about meeting him and possibly adopting him and then I will tell the kids, "Now, Kids, don't get your hopes up. This doesn't necessarily mean we will get him. He will go wherever God feels he needs to be." Then Tim turns to me and says, "Now, Carrie, don't get your hopes up. This doesn't necessarily mean we will get him. He will go wherever God feels he needs to be." Tim has always had the ability to live in the moment and be content with whatever will happen. Me? Not so much. I am trying to be patient and I have really prayed for peace with whatever happens. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don't. The thing that helps me the most is to know that it is our of my control anyway. It does me no good to sit and worry about what will happen. The hardest thing for me right now is just the not knowing. Hopefully in about a month, our days of waiting will be over and we will know for sure if we will be a family of 7!!!
As for our family, so much is happening. Our home study worker submitted our approved home study and information to DHS on December 30! From that point, DHS has 60 days to approve or deny us as foster/adoptive parents. We really had no concerns about being denied since our lives have been pretty uneventful as far as things that would cause concern, but the waiting was going to be hard. A few weeks before all this, the little boy that we are interested in adopting was taken off the website because enough people showed interest that they were going to start the interview process. I fuh-reaked out but through some frantic e-mails, found out that we would still have time to submit our information. I got an e-mail on January 11- TWELVE days after our home study was submitted that we get to set up a meeting with this little guy, we got 24 pages of information about him, AND we get to interview with DHS to possibly adopt him! I got to talk to his current foster mom for about an hour and set up a meeting for TOMORROW!!!!! Then we set up our interview with DHS for February 1 (Sophia's birthday!) at 1:00. Everything that we learned about him only makes us want to adopt him even more. He sounds like such a awesome little guy who has been through a lot but has come through everything with flying colors. AND THEN (yes, there is more!), later in this same day, I got an e-mail from an unrecognized sender but it was a DHS address so I opened it and we received our ADOPTION APPROVAL!!! What was supposed to take 60 days only took 12! Just another time that God has shown Himself through this whole process.
Sooooooo... tomorrow we get to meet our possible future son/brother. The kids are going with us and are so excited! This is how our conversations about it have been going... we will be excitedly talking about meeting him and possibly adopting him and then I will tell the kids, "Now, Kids, don't get your hopes up. This doesn't necessarily mean we will get him. He will go wherever God feels he needs to be." Then Tim turns to me and says, "Now, Carrie, don't get your hopes up. This doesn't necessarily mean we will get him. He will go wherever God feels he needs to be." Tim has always had the ability to live in the moment and be content with whatever will happen. Me? Not so much. I am trying to be patient and I have really prayed for peace with whatever happens. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don't. The thing that helps me the most is to know that it is our of my control anyway. It does me no good to sit and worry about what will happen. The hardest thing for me right now is just the not knowing. Hopefully in about a month, our days of waiting will be over and we will know for sure if we will be a family of 7!!!
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